im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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