like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
