someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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