Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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