I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
