Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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