if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
