Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
