Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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