Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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