I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
