How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
