There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I had to cum in my sink.
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