i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
