tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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