the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
