i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
