Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
