the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
