he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
