Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
