she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
