I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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