My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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