Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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