you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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