You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
