I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
