cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
