just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
