Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
