I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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