Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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