we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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