If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
