Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She told me I should be a condom model.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
