3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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