You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
