I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
