Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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