Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
