Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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