I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
