There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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