Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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