I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
