so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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