he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
