He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
