"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
